This book discusses: definition of shame; toxic and healthy responses to shame; how shame connects with other emotions like anger, guilt, and loneliness; how we developed shame growing up and how to heal from that; and how shame influences interpersonal relationships.
The book gives numerous mental and physical exercises to deal with past and present shame which I think are the parts where the book provides its most value. The book also details out concrete examples of people dealing with the emotion which I found insightful.
I’ve learned new practical concepts that impacts interpersonal relationships, such as the four language styles: love, power, fact, vision; shame reactions: attack-other, attack-self, deny, withdraw; and techniques to deal with the shame voice: both-and technique and parts language technique, among other things.
A compelling quote from the book: “Healthy shame leads to more rewarding relationships with ourselves and others.” Anyone interested in that would find this book valuable and worth the read.
